never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
