I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
