I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
