Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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