Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
