On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
