ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
