Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize