.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
