Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
