Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
