my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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