I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
