Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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