You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
