the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
