Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
