you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
