mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
