John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you win again, gameday.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
