I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
