I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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