I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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