It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
