i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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