Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
