Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Green mimosas i think yes
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
