He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Someone shit on the floor
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
