It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
