Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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