Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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