Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
