We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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