I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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