How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
