she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
