She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
