it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
