I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
