I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
