you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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