i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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