Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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