i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
