I showed him my bush... on skype.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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