the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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