can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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