so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
