Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
