Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
