Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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