she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
