I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
