There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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